Age 22

I don't know why I'm doing this, and I don't know what I'm going to gain. I feel like I need to purge this feeling and the best thing that I've done is write. Maybe through putting this words on this paper (metaphorically) I can somehow rid myself of these demons and sleep the night.

I hope that you will excuse me as I rant. I haven't tagged any of you in this note, and if you are reading this you are probably wondering what kind of post this is. Don't worry. I don't expect you to do a thing, though I know if there is one thing that I will get it is judgment. At this point you've probably also realized that I don't care.

If there is anything that I am thinking about right now its home. That's such a funny concept this home thing...when you find yourself there you want to leave and about two weeks later you are wishing that you never were stupid enough to leave your neighborhood. Perhaps what it really is stands on the fact that you realized that the world isn't this nice friendly place that you always thought it was - that maybe the hope you always held in your heart was really based on what I'm going to call faith-on-credit.

On the subject of real people. They suck. Get used to it. In the end really, good friends are hard to come by and that is not going to change. Some people may have lots of friends, but I think sooner or later I think they see that the 900-odd people they have on their Facebook list really don't count for shit, and yes you are as alone as you think you are.

You know how you always get this feeling that you were made for something? Yeah...I think I lost that feeling a little while back....its scary when you lose yourself in yourself. Can't exactly let go of who you are or of your existence...oh wait...yes you can.

Thoughts are just weird aren't they....how they creep up on you when you have nothing better to do. How when you feel like your life sucks, something just pops up in your head and gives you some kind of perspective? Maybe that's what it is, perspective.

In a sense maybe I'm writing this to you as a warning, not just for a way to find an out from whats going on inside my head. I really have no idea where I'm going with this.

This hasn't helped....and I don't think I'm going to sleep the night...oh well....seems all I can do these days is just try... maybe I've just hit the real world at age 22.